Love

July 21
Monday, 11:56 pm.

What is love that you can give to a person and not to the other? Isn' t love universal, and that you can express love to everyone? Do we need to know and understand the person before we give love? What is love with a feeling of guilt? Isn't that love is virtuous? Do we need to know if we're loving the right or wrong person?

What is love that you cannot give? Why is there love that you cannot give? Is there a law is loving a person? A manual where we can refer to in case we went lost out of it. A love medicine you can take in case love left you broken, hurt and dissatisfied. These questions don't have and will never have straight answers.

What I do know is that love is caring for a person, keeping the person into your heart and recognizing (is enough) the person. Love is not time bounded. The most important thing is not how long you love a person, but how much love do you give to a person. Much doesn't mean a scale of 1 to 10 or the better-best superlatives since there is no such thing as love measurement. It don't have to be perfect, it don't have to be extravagant, it just have to be simple and honest.

Home and Homesick

Dearest,

It was midnight and sleep was not yet here to bother. It was quiet and cold here and it’s the second day of my short vacation. Not an interesting day and it’ll never be since I was supposed to rest, literally. The rain fell heavy this afternoon compared to yesterday that without a second thought I went out of the old house and soaked.

With each drop pouring on my face and everywhere, things began to blur. I try to remember a place – the trees, the road, the houses, the watered soil – they were still the same with what I have in my memory more than ten years ago. Everyone running. Everyone’s noices. Everyone’s laugh. Everyone who doesn’t believe in “Rain, rain, Go Away” nursery rhyme. Today, no one was running, and not a single voice heard. I began to feel colder and colder and so I run towards my grandparent’s old house, hoping that after running I might feel a little less cold. I remember, we used to shower on the broken gutter at the side of their house. And every time my grandmother sees us, she would yell at us getting sick. Of course she’s just worried, but we would always run away and look for another broken gutter-shower. Today, I heard no yelling and the gutter was still broken. I am home and homesick.

After leaving for school seven years ago, I thought all that I left would welcome me when I get back. That everything can be preserved. It wasn’t that way. Everything has to go away. Every time I get back here, I am looking forward to a feeling connected to the past, which I know is impossible. The best things I have here is my childhood and I know it was over. I was just hoping.

In the near future, I will surely feel the same when I get back to a place I know I belong. It’s like a train station where you meet everyone and the one seating beside you is your best friend. Then one by one, they’ll be gone to each of their own station, way to their own journey.

Today, I will consider this place as the foundation station.

I felt colder and decided to dress up.

Cheers!
Rav

I Love You

I have a smile. Stretched from ear to ear. To see you walking down the road. We meet at the lights, I stare for a while. The world around us disappears. Just you and me on this island of hope. A breath between us could be miles. Let me surround you, my sea to your shore. Let me be the calm you seek. And everytime I'm close to you there's too much I can't say. And you just walk away. And I forgot to tell you I love you. And the night's too long and cold here without you. I grieve in my condition for I cannot find the words to say I need you so.

words by: Sarah Mclachlan

The Servant

Proverbs 27:18 "He who tends the fig tree will eat its fruits, And he who cares for his master will be honored."

You toiled the soil. You plant the seeds. You water the crops and watched over until the harvest season. You made the harvest and filled your container. Once the harvest is over, you will toil the soil again and watch over. That is the cycle and this is your life.

I looked at you. I witnessed your hardwork, your faith and your triumphs. I asked you then, "Are you happy?" You answered, "This is what I am made for." I repeated, "Are you happy?" and you replied, "This is my master's land, and my master needs me."

I concluded. You were not happy.

You were eager and said, "I may not be happy with what I was asked to do, but I am happy to serve my master!"

I stopped and began to consider.

Happiness that all of us wanted is different from happiness that all of us needed. We may be unhappy with our lives (or this world) but happy for what our lives (this world) are (is) intended for. I kneel to our master and asked for forgiveness.

We toiled the soil. We plant the seeds. We water the crops and watched over until the harvest season. We made the harvest and filled our container. Once the harvest is over, we will toil the soil again and watch over. That is the cycle and this is our life.

rav. 7.4.08 8.30pm